Sunday, July 15, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
Dungeon Master gets ass raped!
Hey kids, looks like our good ol' Dungeon Master was invaded by extra terrestrial. Co-starring mister Ask A Ninja, Doug Sarine.
Human Catapult
It's been a while since I've posted anything here. Now that I mention it, there are still some of us who haven't posted anything here, ever. Damn shame. For that, I bring you the human catapult. Perhaps you've seen it already. Doesn't matter. This clip is eternally enjoyable.
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Friday, April 13, 2007
Newsflash! Dirty comedian!!
Oh my God! Listen to this. I know you'd never guess it but do you know who's just the dirtiest comedian around?
The answer after the jump.
Bob Saget!
Can you believe it. It's so weird because he played a father on Full House. And what about that home video show? So out of left field.
I found it hard to believe about a decade ago when I first heard that he was dirty. Then I saw him being interviewed and he was talking about sex and stuff. And then I saw him live and he was dirty. I was almost convinced when I saw him in that Aristocrats movie where he was talking about all sorts of vile stuff. Then he was on Entourage as a sleazy version of himself hanging out with prostitutes.
I was on the fence about it, but just now the guy in the cubicle next to me was telling a co-worker about him so it must be true.
Wow. You can't judge a book by it's cover.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Tonight we dine in Heck!
For those of you haven't seen it, enjoy this trailer for the PG version of "300"--safe enough to see with your grandma, priest, neice or pansy-ass nephew.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Shaving is for pussys!
http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/
Turns out the Müterland spits out some of the best competitors in this fierce sport.
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Let a little "kitler" into your heart and hard drive.
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007
David O. Russell is a fucking grownup!
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who throws tantrums on the set. Thanks David!
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Amputation Nationhttp://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
Is it just me or is the world totally amped on amputation. I think that in the last three days I've heard about 20 amputation stories.
What kicked it all off was a story on NPR about Lisa Bufano
, a woman who made a big fat batch of lemonade from the lemon avalanche life dropped on her. She apparently lost her legs and finger to a staph infection but has turned her disability into art by affixing weird, cool legs and hands and dancing around. It's way cooler and more sensitive than that, I'm just in an apbbrasive mood. Check out some amazing videos here at Lisabufano.com. (It doesn't hurt that she's also pretty cute.) I need to snatch her up for a video before Mathew Barney does. In her interview she brought up comic book superheroes and how they're always able to turn a hideous accident into something amazing.
So that's one positive amputee story, now followed by a butt-load of not so happy ones. Two nights ago I finally worked up the courage and watched "I Spit On Your Grave". It's the classic grindhouse revenge film that heavily influence Tarantino's "Kill Bill", and has the dubious distinction of having one of the longest, most violent rape sequences in a movie. After being taken down Deliverance style by the local boys in a mountain town, the female lead takes it upon herself to wreak revenge. I'll spare you the details of the other deaths, but the one that's permanently stuck in my head was the bath tub scene.
Without going into too much detail, the woman emasculates him with a knife, jumps out of the tub, locks him in and lets him bleed to death while she sits in a rocking chair and listens to a record.
To top it off, this morning on the Adam Carolla show they had this new segment called "Missing Pieces" (or some such) which consisted of people calling in and talking about how they lost an arm, or a leg, or in one girl's case, a nipple.
Enough already. I guess my posting this doesn't help. Ugh. How come people aren't like lizards or Swamp Thing? Why can't our limbs grow back? Wouldn't that have been a useful adaptation?
Anyway, if you have all your appendages, thank your lucky stars. And if you're missing any, don't tell me about it for a few days. I need to recover.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Like a mini-mall.
Apparently there are no other takers, so I guess I'll just have to keep De-oxygenated Girl all to myself.
If you haven't seen this video, well son, you haven't lived:
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Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Tim Hawkinson
Here's another show we need to see. This guy is a conceptual genius. He completely defies categorization.
With their dog after the war.
How awesome is this Magritte painting? Yeah, pretty effing awesome.
There's a showing of his stuff at Lacma coming up, y'all. Let's hit it and quit it!
Monday, March 5, 2007
Grindhouse day 1 - Mack Attack
Last night kicked off the first night of Quentin Tarantino's programming at the New Beverly theatre. Or as it is now known, The Los Angeles Grindhouse Festival 2007. This is one of those inevitable no-brainers that should have happened years ago. We have all these art house theatres as well as revival houses but so much of the programming is dedicated to high brow, subtitled fare. You know, "important" movies. Scratch that, "important CINEMA". Now I'm as excited about a new print of "Rashomon" as any other film geek but occasionally a hot greasy serving of tricked out pop culture is just what the doctor ordered.
I'm not sure how long they've been at it, but every month for the last 7 months or so, we here at M.O.G. have been attending the monthly Grindhouse event put on by the good folks at Hollywood Book and Poster, and my life will never be the same. We've seen demonic zombies, swinging cheerleaders, players, pimps, killers and lovers. In short, everything that M.O.G. is all about. When I heard that Quentin was going to be curating the programming for the New Bev's everyday schedule, I just about shat myself with glee. The feeling was akin to a cokehound falling out of an airplane and landing in a hottub at Carlos Escobar's compound.
Here's how the first night went down.
I got there about an hour late but due to the New Bev Grindhouse crew's usually relaxed pace and the requisite intros and warnings, I got ther just in time to watch the first couple trailers and get a nice seat. My friends had saved me a seat and promptly informed me that Quentin wasn't here but his assistant was and that she was sitting behind us. I was semi disappointed that he wasn't there but then again, that's not what this is about. It's almost as if this event is so natural and inevitable that there shouldn't be any hoopla about it. It would be like celebrating a deep breathe of air or a gulp of cool water. 
So the first flick was "The Mack". I was excited to see it if only because it was referenced in "True Romance". Christian Slater busts into Gary Oldman the pimp's house and they're watching "The Mack" on TV. The film follows the life of a pimp recently released from jail. He quickly moves back up the ranks of pimpdom and wins accolades at the Player's Ball, etc.
While the kitsch value is pretty rich--especially for the kinds of people who think that the word "pimp" belongs on t-shirts, caps and bumper stickers--the film is more about the ongoing struggle of the black community in the wake of the post-MLK era. Martin may have had a dream but it's still a long time coming. This all comes to a head in the film when the lead pimp, Goldie talks to his brother Roger Mosley (AKA the black guy from Magnum P.I.) about the reasons why he pimps. Mosley's character is a sort of Black Panther type, fighting for slower agents of change in the community like education and community brotherhood. Goldie sees this as a waste of time, especially when there's so much money to be made by "turning out bitches". This discussion is left pretty open ended which, I guess, is more realistic and less preachy but it still left me a bit angry. In recent black history there's always been this sense of pride in "making your ends" no matter who gets hurt. You still hear these themes all over hip-hop tracks and flicks and it simply makes my blood boil. Not because of the violence or language (those things fascinate me to no end) but it's the sheer fatalism of feeling that things are so bad that the only way out of the ghetto is by rapping, sports, or in this case, pimping.
The reason why these types of movies and songs are so popular isn't too terribly difficult to ascertain, of course. Not too many people would buy a ticket to a movie called "The Black Guy That Went To College".
To sum it up, this film ranks pretty high for me in the list of criteria that I like to see in good pulp fiction. Pretty wild, unpredictable, sensational and thick with social commentary. My only beef is that it is too heavy on the commentary but hey, it's hard out here for a pimp.
The second movie, "The Chinese Mack", was honestly pretty skippable. It made a much better marquis sign than a viewing experience. The film pretty obviously was trying to bite off the success of "The Mack", much the same way that "Black Shampoo" did for "Shampoo". It was presented in "Kung Fu" color, though, so it wasn't all bad.
The plot stands out from most heroic kung fu films in that the hero began life as a wimpy kid and ended up soliciting prostitutes. The fight sequences were standard chop-socky at best, but made up for it with awkward camera work and the occasional freeze frame. The bad dubbing made for some laughs, especially lines like "Oh him, he's not my son. He's adopted. He's always doing crazy stuff like that."
The mostly boring flick pulled out of its tailspin of crappy action with a really bizarre towel versus nunchucku fight. That's right, our hero fights a guy with a towel. For like 8 minutes. It's awesome. Once that's done and our hero/anti-hero has vanquished his foe (Arthur Dent Style) he has to confront a boy (who we've learned earlier is the hero's brother, but doesn't know it). The fight culminates in each other kicking the other one in the balls. The anti-hero falls to the ground and dies while the boy pulls a metal cup out of his pants that he made himself.
Oh yeah, and there's a real pitbull fight, a cricket fight, a weird flashback of the hero as a baby being washed by his mother, and some boobies. That's about it.
All in all, a pretty kickass way to kick start the grindhouse. Let the good times splatter.
Welcome to My Other Girlfriend
Come on in, pick up a snifter and have a seat in the drawing room. Welcome to My Other Girlfriend, the interweb receptacle for stuff that we like. We're not actually certain what will end up appearing in this blog but since we're not getting paid for it, nor do we ever expect to, it will more than likely be a spotty smattering of stuff that we're interested in. Particularly stuff that the ladies in our lives give us grief about.
So put on your smoking jacket, give your nether regions a scratch, kick off your shoes and let's begin.
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